Quarter of a Turn More

It has been a long time since I last wrote a thing in my blog. And for what seemed to be an eternity, my life, the kind of life I have been living for the last year or two, has finally shifted two hundred seventy degrees,waiting for it to move quarter of a turn more. In the past weeks, it feels like I have just started my year..

Looking back, Y2010 was a tough year for me. It was an intense year-- full of surprises; people left; new ones came; and, old ones, people I knew way back my frizzy-hair days, reunited. My life was everything in between. I valued nobody else but Myself. I received too much of an attention from new and old friends and as the year progressed, I craved for more. It made me feel more important than ever but insecure at the same time.

As I enjoy every bit of what life offered me, I drowned. The narcissism in me was a quicksand. My insecurities and sense of omnipotence overpowered my conscience and morality, as well as my compassion for the people surrounding me. I lost touch with reality. I lost control. The world revolved around nobody but ME.

I refuse to account the number of people I have hurt as I feed my ego with that false sense of superiority.

A shattering incident during the first quarter of 2011 has to unfold to push me grounded, to shake me, and to shatter the thick glass of my bogus self.

2010 is an all-important year for me because I learned too much the hard way. It taught me to be more responsible, considerate, controlled and composed. Moreso, it gave me the virtue of Temperance. My emotions pushed back, while logic makes its way at the forefront.

I am bruised, again.. but how deep I fell doesn't matter now, what matters is how high I bounced back.

A quarter of a turn more and I'm back on track...

Say Goodbye

two years and one month..

thank God it's over.

i miss you..

so mad at you

Withered..

Two years have gone by and finally I have decided to move on... I was in a roller coaster ride for the last two years in my life and in a blink of an eye before 2010 ended, I finally had the guts to let go of the feelings which should have been long gone..

I waited long enough and John must never blame me for leaving because I had been there for him with no apparent reason to.

It took me some time to realize that there was nothing to ever hold on to. I exerted more than a tolerable effort just to stick with the feelings and love I have for him which remained unrequited despite the time spent.

It's easier to leave him now and move forward as I start the new year right.

I am hurt but will never ever be regretful as I decide to let go for I have loved him in many ways and freely gave it more than what he truly deserves.

He's now another fragment of my past, a happy and sad thought which will always have a special spot in my heart.

Thank you for all the memories. Thank you for opening my heart and showing me how it feels to fall inlove again. Thank you for the few wonderful moments my heart will live by.

As I move forward and leave the past behind, I want you to know that you would remain to be a happy memory-- one that I will cherish forever..

our third chance on love..

thank you Lord for the wonderful feeling I have been experiencing eversince John came back into my life a couple of days ago. I promise to take care of this relationship and change my old ways. This is our third chance on love and I would no longer allow anything or anyone come against our way. I would like to be with him and love him for the rest of my life.... I love him and misses him so much...