Time and Distance

This day is one of those days I know I wouldn't forget for the rest of my life.. As I have been posting in my statuses at FB and FS, "Time and distance are essential to FORGIVENESS".. Every pain and heartache I felt vanished so naturally..

Finally, after two years, me and a past, Ian, have already buried the hatchet. I never thought that our lives could turn like this so positively. We might never become great friends at all, but knowing that we have forgiven each other for the past hurts is such a big leap in itself.

I remember the days when the thought of losing him makes me cry every night. The thought of him loving somebody else almost killed me.. I harbored the pain for almost a year. I cannot deny the fact that John, who came in on November 2008, made it a lot easier. His entry in my life made me move forward and regain myself...

I never thought me and Ian would ever come to this point. The feeling of not feeling anything upon seeing him happy carrying his baby confirms that I have really moved on. And I am glad to come this far.. =)

John, on the other hand, declined talking to me. Oh well, another time and distance to look forward to for a reconciliation like mine and Ian's here again ....

Meantime, let me just enjoy this great feeling of freedom and forgiveness.. :)

Not Necessary...

I cannot reconcile the fact of having to delete the social network acounts and the intent to get away from me.. I don't think it's necessary.. I hope you are mature and man enough to tell me the real score.. What's wrong?! I don't understand... We are supposed to be mature people and the experiences we've had in the past should have been enough to allow us to act accordingly.. You wanted to leave then why not tell me straight-face? I don't need that damn shunning off! I want us to be friends... it's like you're punishing me.. for what, john, for what?
Your treatment of me is deserving only of someone who did you no good... Did i hurt you? What did I do to deserve all these?
All I wanted is for us to be okay for old times' sake.. eleven months is eleven months.. we could no longer erase the fact that we have become a part of each other's lives. I am not asking for you to love me.. all I wanted for us is to be okay because whether I like it or not, I know that you have given me enough of what I need.. You have made me happy and pushed me to be who I am now.. I won't be where I am if not because of you.. I have all the gratitude I could have for having you in my life...
I just want you to be here in the least possible way, nothing more, nothing less...

Damn if you do, damn if you don't..

I'm lost.. I do not understand you.. what are you up to.. what have i done wrong to deserve this? All I wanted is us to be friends and keep you. Was it hard? Why? Now what? I do not understand..

Beautiful

I don't wanna waste an entire album on you, Ive been there done that yea. I don't wanna put all the anger you've caused me back on you though I'll know I'll be justified but I'm in another place. I don't wanna put any negative vibes into his universe I've done that enough and i don't wanna tell who what when where why and how cause who cares, no no body cares

but i hope you soon find out how to love, once upon a time you wanted to learn, i thought i could teach you but you were more afraid, than willing. So when it comes don't push it away, one day you will find it is the greatest gift and i hope you don't take advantage of it again

hold her when she wants to be held, don't yell at her when she's only tryng to love you.
take her to her favorite place more often than not, don't take her kindness for weakness cause im sure she'll love you a lot.So pull her in all that she does, don't tear her down build her up cause that is the worst thing you can do to someone you love. Put her high on a pedestal and tell her when she looks beautiful, tell her when she looks beautiful ....

I used to think that i could not bear you to be with anyone but me, but Ive been there done that yea... and since then Ive come to think silly of that whole mentality, cause i wanna find love to no it wont be with you.I wish for everyone to one day find happiness and love including you yea... and i don't wanna go into detail cause Ive said enough and its not my intent to hurt you no..

but i hope you soon find out how to love, once upon a time you wanted to learn, i thought i could teach you but you were more afraid, than willing. So when it comes don't push it away, one day you will find it is the greatest gift(yea) and i hope you don't take advantage of it again

but i hope you soon find out how to love, once upon a time you wanted to learn, i thought i could teach you but you were more afraid, than willing. So when it comes don't push it away, one day you will find it is the greatest gift and i hope you don't take advantage of it again

hold her when she wants to be held, don't yell at her when she's only tryng to love you oh(oh oh oh oh oh) take her to her favorite place more often than not, don't take her kindness for weakness cause im sure she'll love you a lot.So pull her in all that she does, don't tear her down build her up cause that is the worst thing you can do to someone you love. Put her high on a pedestal and tell her when she looks beautiful, tell her when she looks beautiful

Outstanding!

Yey! Am raving today! My boss gave me an oustanding rating for my performance last year! In fairness, it was effortless.. hahaha..
Oh well, kidding aside, it really feels good knowing that the efforts you put at work are being recognized and rewarded. As I have told my boss during the talk we did a while ago, I felt I have changed for the better as compared several years back. During my younger years (not really so long ago), I was more or less focused on having a family of my own, putting work as a second or maybe my last priority. But of course due to some circumstances beyond my control (particularly being broken-hearted several times.. hehehe), i decided to finally shift paradigm.
Things never really worked the way I wanted them to be. For a period of time it saddled me however, i eventually realized that it'll only do me no good if I stay on crying over spilled milk. With the life events I went through for the last couple of years, I begun to transform myself little by little.
I cannot allow myself to succumb in misery and heartbreaks, thus, I indirectly re-focused my energies into something more productive-- work and studies..
I am enjoying the life I am given now. By and by, I'll be where I really wanna be. I know that in God's good time, everything will fall into place.
At this point in my life, small miracles are beginning to happen.
Ironically, I am agreeing with this particular guy, who was responsible for breaking my heart in 2008 (haha!), as he says, it's time to change for the better-- by choosing the right path. =)
In fairness to him, he has a point! Paminsan-minsan may utak din pala siya. hehehe (bitter pa? haha)
Basta, at this point in my life, I am happy, contented, at peace, and blessed...
Thank God!